For the past couple years, October has come to mean more to me than the open door to fall (which I have always LOVED October for, by the way)...The month is also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.
Between March and April of 2011, I had my first miscarriage in the form of an ectopic pregnancy. While I was lucky and didn't require a D&C...which my doctor wasn't thrilled about, but he agreed because my numbers kept going down...I also had daily reminders of my loss for over a month as my body worked to heal.
In October 2011, I suffered my second miscarriage. I lost this baby VERY early, but I was already in love...and nothing compares to the intense physical pain, no matter how early the loss.
After sharing my ectopic pregnancy story in my Lipstick & Pearls column, many women came forward to share their own stories with me...there are so very many stories. And for the most part, we suffer in silence.
I'm not sure when/why miscarriage became taboo. Maybe because there isn't always physical evidence to the outside world, so the outside world doesn't feel any heartbreak. Maybe it's because society tries to make people believe that a miscarriage isn't a baby, just a bunch of tissue...but anyone who has grieved this loss (or carried a pregnancy to full term for that matter) knows that just isn't true. It's a baby. It's real. Thus, the grief is also real.
Whatever the reasons, I am choosing to pay special tribute this month...to my own babies, but also to the parents who are acutely aware of what pregnancy/infant loss means.
Later this month, I plan to hold a giveaway honoring pregnancy and infant loss. My friend Amy over at Delightful Distractions has agreed to design a print for this purpose. She is an excellent designer, and I look forward to sharing her work with you...