Thursday, December 5, 2013

On the High Dive

At the swimming pool in my hometown of Marquette, there is a high dive. (I believe one of the tallest left in the state, so high dive isn't an exaggeration...) As a kid, I was terrified of the stupid thing...but because I didn't want to be known as a scaredy cat, I jumped anyway.

On Sunday during Sunday School, a classmate compared using the morning as a devotional time to pulling yourself back from the edge. And all I could think about was a picture of that Marquette high dive. (Here's where I'd love to show you a photo of my toes curling around the edge of a super high board with the water far below...but one, at 11 degrees it's WAY too cold for that; and two, I will NEVER climb that thing again...so use your imagination.)

Ever since having kids, I've struggled to have a devotional time with the Lord. I've excused my behavior...my body needs sleep, right? My kids need breakfast...now, right? I need a shower, the beds need made, laundry done, dishes loaded, food cooked...and I ALMOST convinced myself that God knew the place I was in, and it was OK for a season.

But there was always a nudge from the Holy Spirit, making my soul long for a time in the morning for me to focus on scripture and begin my day with prayer.

My fellow Sunday school classmate's response to my confession of losing a bit of control/temper with Jemma that very morning (due to her ripping out a pig tail because she only wanted ONE...not TWO. WAAAAAAAAA...and me storming out of the bathroom in a rage (aka adult temper tantrum)...not pretty), was the jolt I needed to be in the Word every morning.

It's been difficult. I wake up exhausted because I am still up several times in the night with Case and sometimes Jemma. I wake up grouchy and unwilling to start the day sometimes. In essence, I wake up already on that proverbial "edge." But as I cover myself in His word, in journaling and in prayer, I can feel myself being pulled back from the edge.

My toes release the edge of the board, and I am able to back up, slowly, safely, and then back down the ladder as I am drenched in something outside of myself and my conditions. Spending time with God every morning surely has pulled me back and given me room for error in a day, rather than starting my day already on the edge, ready to fall.

What's your experience with a daily quiet time?

2 comments:

  1. Well said. I, too, struggle with a morning quiet time. I've found that my best time is right after lunch. Thanks for your honesty.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Have you heard of Hello Mornings? We're between sessions right now, but I have a wonderful group of women who I check in with daily. We're all at different places with getting our morning routines down, and it is great accountability. I'd love to tell you more about it if you are interested.

    http://www.hellomornings.org/

    -Kara

    ReplyDelete