And it's no different for me. Names provide individual distinction, and I desire to get it right.
So, one of the first things I did when I found out we were expecting Baby #1, was to go buy a baby name book.
One of the first things I did when brainstorming my newspaper column and what I wanted it to be, was to process and pray over its name.
And one of the first things I did when I decided to participate in Write 31 Days (besides panic a little about the daily part! and the fact that I decided to participate the day before it started. and that I'd never designed a blog button before. and...) OK...enough of that. Those things aside, the part that I really wanted to get right was a name for this post series.
I knew I wanted to address elements of childhood trauma. Over the past three years, God has opened my eyes to the amount of suffering childhood trauma (also called adverse childhood experiences in literature about the topic) can pour into life. I'm not a doctor. I'm not a psychologist. I'm just a girl who has lived most of my life in its grip. But no more!
And I want to help others find freedom as well.
So yes, definitely writing on childhood trauma! But I needed a name. One that directed this journey and the tone it would take.
Friday evening, as I prayed fervently for direction, I kept hearing this portion of scripture..."deep cries out to deep". OK, yeah, that could work.
But as I read it in context, it didn't quite make sense to me why that would be a good title. The verse, found in Psalm 42, describes someone tossing and turning...pummeled by waves of water...and feeling beat down and forgotten by the LORD. Both uses of deep are the same, and don't translate* into hope.
"deep to deep, God? Did I hear you right?"
And then, I remembered a song* with these lyrics: "How deep the Father's love for us. How vast beyond all measure, that He should give His only Son, to make a wretch His treasure."
The deeps are different.
In Psalm 42*, deep refers to an abyss. A surging mass of water. Especially the deep place. When I started my recovery, I realized what a deep place I had been in. Not everyone has childhood trauma, of course! Don't go looking for what isn't there. But for me, my years of depression, my adrenal fatigue, my self-esteem, symptoms of civilian PTSD, were all bound back to my 2-year-old self. I was living in the depths. The abyss. I was beat down. It was deep.
But then there's God. The DEEP. The profound*.
Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways!"
Romans 11:33 (NASB)
"For to us God revealed through the Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God."
1 Corinthians 2:10 (NASB)
And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is."
Ephesians 3:18 (NLT)
It's when our deep collides with His DEEP that we are restored and healed. It's in his glorious riches that we find courage to walk out of a painful past and into a hope-filled future. It's in His mighty expanse that we are covered with trust for the journey. It's in the DEEP of His love that we find our strength.
So, deep to DEEP.
No matter if you are in the abyss, just starting to fight your way out, or are looking back seeing how far you've come, take some time to marvel at who God is and how DEEP He is. Praise Him for that today!
Song: "How Deep the Father's Love for Us." (various artists)
Scripture study: Strong's dictionary on Blue Letter Bible (blueletterbible.com)
This is part of a series called deep to DEEP, a write 31 days challenge. For more posts in this series, click the image below: